Redneck Dictionary: Medical Terms

Funny redneck dictionary of medical terms: For those of you who have been staying up late, losing sleep, wanting to know redneck medical terms, here’s the redneck medical dictionary.

Benign – What you be after you be eight.

Artery – The study of arts.

Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria.

Barium – What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome.

CATscan – Searching for kitty.

Cauterize – Made eye contact with her.

Colic – A sheep dog.

Coma – A punctuation mark.

D & C – Where Washington is.

Dilate – To live long.

Enema – Not a friend.

Fester – Quicker than someone else.

Fibula – A small lie.

Genital – Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series – World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail – What you hang your coat on.

Impotent – Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane.

Morbid – A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates – Cheaper than day rates.

Node – I knew it.

Outpatient – A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear – A fatherhood test.

Pelvis – .Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative – A letter carrier.

Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery.

Rectum – Damn near killed him.

Secretion – Hiding something.

Seizure – Roman emperor.

Tablet – A small table.

Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor – More than one.

Urine – Opposite of you’re out.

Varicose – Near by/close by.